I would've been angry before Norfinbury, too. [ Royce says, tilting his head back. ] Not as angry as I am now, though. After everything we went through.
Would you be as angry if it didn't happen to you, but to someone very close to you?
[ That makes him feel better, actually. Like he's not crazy. ]
Even if they are ready for it, it doesn't matter. To be turned into an animal without your express permission is too close to being changed into an anomaly. It sounds harmless. A prank. But it isn't. I'm not being dramatic. [ His voice gets a little angrier, less flat. ] I am not wearing my trauma like a badge of honor.
[ He's already a little off-balance by the direction the questions have gone, but hearing that last bit makes him freeze in place. The only movement is his eyes narrowing, giving them a cold glint. He at least tries to keep his words mild enough. ]
[ That settles the cold in his chest. Okay- okay, first thing should be to make Royce feel better, if possible. After, he can try to fix that assumption. ]
Well, you don't. You're very quiet about the whole thing, as far as I can tell. Only talk about it in private, and I assume with people you trust...or trusted. You're not a victim of that place- you're a survivor. I'm not sure what that person wanted from you.
[ Yeah. That's what Royce thought. He takes another sip of wine, just to have something to do that isn't quietly seethe. He'd opened up and gotten slapped back down. It hurt. It hurts, still. ]
I trusted him more than I should have. [ He swallows hard. ] I didn't wear armor and he stabbed me in the gut, as people usually do.
[ Gabriel stares down at his wine. That's one mystery solved, and he's so glad it didn't turn out to be Renart. Damn, Royce and Monty had looked pretty happy that evening, too. Gabriel heaves a sigh. ]
Yeah. That's been my experience, too. Sorry you ran into it here, of all places.
[ That's the worst part. Royce genuinely does like Monty - he's been a little infatuated with him for well over a year, but this is the sort of thing he doesn't know how to handle. ]
It's fine. I'm fine. It just confirmed something I already knew.
[ He purses his lips, because Alfie scolded him for this, but. ]
It's stupid to let feelings get in the way of sense. Some - childish infatuation led me to believe that I could be open, and I was punished accordingly. I won't make that mistake again.
[ Gabriel's silent for a long moment, then lets out a sigh. ]
Yeah.
I'd feel the same way if I had that thrown back in my face, honestly. Makes me wonder how lucky I am that it hasn't happened, so far. Not here, anyway.
[ Back home was a completely different story. But this is making him rethink some things. ]
[ Gabriel smirks, pleased that Royce doesn't call out his obviously more childish response to being told not to talk to Monty. He can accept that much, he thinks. ]
Sure.
I'm trying to get better about respecting people's wishes, lately. Can't always promise I'll be great about it.
Huh. I suppose that is one way you could frame the first time we spoke. [ Royce says, amused. He remembers being a dickhead, mostly, but - hey, if that helps Gabriel, that's fine. ]
But - yes. Friends. [ That's softer, repeated, as he glances out towards the rest of the Meadous. ]
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Would you be as angry if it didn't happen to you, but to someone very close to you?
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I'd probably be more angry. I'm- used to changing myself, being changed. Even before Norfinbury.
I mean, maybe not on that scale, but still. Other people aren't- they're less ready for it.
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Even if they are ready for it, it doesn't matter. To be turned into an animal without your express permission is too close to being changed into an anomaly. It sounds harmless. A prank. But it isn't. I'm not being dramatic. [ His voice gets a little angrier, less flat. ] I am not wearing my trauma like a badge of honor.
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Someone said that to you?
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Yes. [ He answers tersely. ] They did.
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Well, you don't. You're very quiet about the whole thing, as far as I can tell. Only talk about it in private, and I assume with people you trust...or trusted. You're not a victim of that place- you're a survivor. I'm not sure what that person wanted from you.
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I trusted him more than I should have. [ He swallows hard. ] I didn't wear armor and he stabbed me in the gut, as people usually do.
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Yeah. That's been my experience, too. Sorry you ran into it here, of all places.
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It's fine. I'm fine. It just confirmed something I already knew.
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It's stupid to let feelings get in the way of sense. Some - childish infatuation led me to believe that I could be open, and I was punished accordingly. I won't make that mistake again.
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Yeah.
I'd feel the same way if I had that thrown back in my face, honestly. Makes me wonder how lucky I am that it hasn't happened, so far. Not here, anyway.
[ Back home was a completely different story. But this is making him rethink some things. ]
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I don't want you to talk to Monty. I know you know that it's him who said it. I don't want him to think I've - tattled on him.
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That's so childish. A friend can't be concerned?
[ It's grumbled out mostly to himself, and he sighs. ]
Fine. If some eggs end up smashed on his window, though, I wouldn't be surprised.
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I wouldn't be surprised either. [ He drains his wine glass. ] Thank you.
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Sure.
I'm trying to get better about respecting people's wishes, lately. Can't always promise I'll be great about it.
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Yeah. Of course. We're friends.
[ He chuckles lightly and continues. ]
--plus, you did sort of start this whole friendship with helping me sort out my worries. Seems only fair I return the favor.
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But - yes. Friends. [ That's softer, repeated, as he glances out towards the rest of the Meadous. ]