[ The question focuses him, even as he takes a heavy kick that pushes him even further off of Sherlock. He tries to regain ground and reapply his arm, but Sherlock is right- his technique is terrible. Still, he does his best to persevere. The words are more important than the fight. ]
You were sure those were your own thoughts, weren't you? You trusted your mind not to betray you--
[ He pauses as he grunts with the effort of trying to keep Sherlock against the wall. ]
You took the ideas and made them yours, because at least then you were in control. Right? How is that different? Show me exactly how that's different from me!
[Sherlock isn't especially good at dealing with people who can get to him in the same way that he gets to other people. The tabloids don't bother him, general insults don't bother him, but specific digs in the right place can. It's like Mycroft, a taunt that he's really just a stupid little boy. It's the HOUND but so much worse.
His mind is all he has. In many ways, he's similar to Sylar. He knows he has greatness, he knows he's better than the average man, but all of that worth is tied to his brilliant mind. If he can't trust that, he has nothing, he is nothing. His eyes widen and the hand that comes to push at Sylar's arm is trembling just a little.]
I knew I wasn't in control, I felt it. Just as John felt it, that's why he restrained himself, that's why I only killed those people who deserve to die.
[He doesn't actually feel much guilt for killing the two men that he did. Both were murderers, despicable human beings, and he stopped himself hurting the child.]
That is how it's different. You never killed for a higher 'power' controlling your actions, you did it for your own selfish gains. The only person controlling you was you. And now look at you, Gabriel, look at what you are failing to do, look at the corner you have backed yourself into. What do you think killing me will achieve other than to prove that all you are is a petty man with temper issues? What do you think sparing me will do other than to prove you are incapable of achieving anything any longer?
[ Sylar's eyes narrow, more to keep from outright crying than anything else. There was no winning here. But at least neither of them would. He huffs out a sigh and lets go of Sherlock, backing up a few feet to put space between them. ]
It's not any different. I knew it wasn't right, I did everything to try and stop, at first. The only difference is you had to deal with it here for a night, and I've been dealing with it for years.
[ The fury is out of his voice, now. He just sounds tired. ]
Did it get harder to fight as the night wore on? Some people told me it did.
[He might be more interested in this in the future, and every inflection and word is being stored in his mind palace for when he needs it, but not right now. He's almost angry at Gabriel for backing away, it gives him less to focus on to distract from the bone-numbing terror he feels every time he contemplates that night.]
Your delusions are becoming boring now.
[It's almost spat out as he stalks across the room towards the main door of the aquarium. He's changed his mind, he wants to walk, he wants to be away from Gabriel Gray.]
[ Sylar just watches him leave, fairly sure that Sherlock's mostly being defensive. He sighs, seeing the tablet on the floor, and picks it up to contact John. Not that the guy is going to believe him.
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28/11/16 19:06 (UTC)You were sure those were your own thoughts, weren't you? You trusted your mind not to betray you--
[ He pauses as he grunts with the effort of trying to keep Sherlock against the wall. ]
You took the ideas and made them yours, because at least then you were in control. Right? How is that different? Show me exactly how that's different from me!
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28/11/16 19:21 (UTC)His mind is all he has. In many ways, he's similar to Sylar. He knows he has greatness, he knows he's better than the average man, but all of that worth is tied to his brilliant mind. If he can't trust that, he has nothing, he is nothing. His eyes widen and the hand that comes to push at Sylar's arm is trembling just a little.]
I knew I wasn't in control, I felt it. Just as John felt it, that's why he restrained himself, that's why I only killed those people who deserve to die.
[He doesn't actually feel much guilt for killing the two men that he did. Both were murderers, despicable human beings, and he stopped himself hurting the child.]
That is how it's different. You never killed for a higher 'power' controlling your actions, you did it for your own selfish gains. The only person controlling you was you. And now look at you, Gabriel, look at what you are failing to do, look at the corner you have backed yourself into. What do you think killing me will achieve other than to prove that all you are is a petty man with temper issues? What do you think sparing me will do other than to prove you are incapable of achieving anything any longer?
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28/11/16 19:40 (UTC)It's not any different. I knew it wasn't right, I did everything to try and stop, at first. The only difference is you had to deal with it here for a night, and I've been dealing with it for years.
[ The fury is out of his voice, now. He just sounds tired. ]
Did it get harder to fight as the night wore on? Some people told me it did.
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28/11/16 19:52 (UTC)Your delusions are becoming boring now.
[It's almost spat out as he stalks across the room towards the main door of the aquarium. He's changed his mind, he wants to walk, he wants to be away from Gabriel Gray.]
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28/11/16 19:58 (UTC)He feels rather numb now. ]