We The Lost - Mailbox

[termineur]

1087 Rocky Road

There is a mail slot on the top, as well as instructions to freely borrow or place books in the box.

Comments

[bywolves]

[ His nose wrinkles slightly. ]

No. I don't. [ Another sip. Snottily: ] Two is enough and far too much, sometimes.

[termineur]

[ The question was an honest one, and he looks satisfied with the answer as he sips at his wine. ]

Alfie and me, I hope? Or maybe Alfie counts more as family.

[bywolves]

You and Alfie. [ A pause. ] Alfie is - I hesitate to say he's more than a friend if only because people have told me that means something different than I want it to.

[termineur]

Ah. You mean what you want it to mean, but- yeah, I can see why you'd avoid it.

That just reminds me that I think the trolls might've had it worked out a little better. Were you around when Karkat posted his big essay on troll romance? You and Alfie sound like you fit the moirail thing.

[bywolves]

I've always thought that as well. [ Royce says, tilting his head back. He's quiet for a good moment, and then, softer: ] I love him, but it has nothing to do with sex. I'm not even sure it's romantic. He's important.

[ Sigh. ] Yeah. Moirails. [ Man, he misses Karkat. ]

[termineur]

Yeah.

Well, it just means you both have something unique and special with each other, then. If other people don't understand it, that's on them.

[bywolves]

[ Another long pause, and then, softer: ]

That'd be why we're friends, Gabriel. [ Because you get him, basically. ] Or why I'd consider us such.

[termineur]

[ By this point, Gabriel's analytical mind had figured out at least the basics of what might've happened. He knows Royce had been spending a lot of time with Renart lately, and that he and Monty had been physically close at the last dinner. He knows a lot of people get stuck on what Alfie means to Royce. And he knows what it's like for misunderstandings to erupt into a flaming pit where one's friendship used to be.

He wants to ask. But he's learned over time that when he wants to ask this badly, he usually shouldn't. So he smiles softly at Royce instead. ]

Then you know I'm always gonna want to come around. And that I'll be here if you want to talk. -or don't want to talk, which I'm guessing is far more likely.

[bywolves]

[ Royce appreciates it - he hates being pushed to talk about anything, and honestly, at first? He almost takes Gabriel up on not wanting to talk. A year ago, he probably would've taken that out. Changed the subject. But he knows more than anything now that he can't let stuff like this fester, and he can't talk to Alfie about it. Because - while Alfie knows him better than anybody else, the way he approaches friendship is different than Royce.

But Gabriel? Gabriel knows. So there's a pause, as Royce stares down at his wine, and then: ]

How do you -- thank you. [ He says, interrupting himself, looking back up at Gabriel sincerely. ] For that. I want your opinion on something.

[termineur]

[ Oh, Royce actually does want to talk? Color Gabriel surprised. But he nods, eager to help if he can. ]

Yeah, sure. What is it?

[bywolves]

Phil's spells, yeah? The ones that turn people into animals.

If someone were to take one of those spells and use it against you, slip you a potion in your drink that turns you into an animal without you knowing or - consenting, would you be angry?

[termineur]

[ He actually takes a long while to think about it, just to make sure he's being honest about it. This is clearly not a hypothetical. ]

Yeah, I would. But- how long I was angry would depend on the circumstances, probably.

[bywolves]

I would've been angry before Norfinbury, too. [ Royce says, tilting his head back. ] Not as angry as I am now, though. After everything we went through.

Would you be as angry if it didn't happen to you, but to someone very close to you?

[termineur]

[ Gabriel snorts lightly. ]

I'd probably be more angry. I'm- used to changing myself, being changed. Even before Norfinbury.

I mean, maybe not on that scale, but still. Other people aren't- they're less ready for it.

[bywolves]

[ That makes him feel better, actually. Like he's not crazy. ]

Even if they are ready for it, it doesn't matter. To be turned into an animal without your express permission is too close to being changed into an anomaly. It sounds harmless. A prank. But it isn't. I'm not being dramatic. [ His voice gets a little angrier, less flat. ] I am not wearing my trauma like a badge of honor.

[termineur]

[ He's already a little off-balance by the direction the questions have gone, but hearing that last bit makes him freeze in place. The only movement is his eyes narrowing, giving them a cold glint. He at least tries to keep his words mild enough. ]

Someone said that to you?

[bywolves]

[ Royce clinks his fingernails against his wine glass in agitation. ]

Yes. [ He answers tersely. ] They did.

[termineur]

[ That settles the cold in his chest. Okay- okay, first thing should be to make Royce feel better, if possible. After, he can try to fix that assumption. ]

Well, you don't. You're very quiet about the whole thing, as far as I can tell. Only talk about it in private, and I assume with people you trust...or trusted. You're not a victim of that place- you're a survivor. I'm not sure what that person wanted from you.

[bywolves]

[ Yeah. That's what Royce thought. He takes another sip of wine, just to have something to do that isn't quietly seethe. He'd opened up and gotten slapped back down. It hurt. It hurts, still. ]

I trusted him more than I should have. [ He swallows hard. ] I didn't wear armor and he stabbed me in the gut, as people usually do.

[termineur]

[ Gabriel stares down at his wine. That's one mystery solved, and he's so glad it didn't turn out to be Renart. Damn, Royce and Monty had looked pretty happy that evening, too. Gabriel heaves a sigh. ]

Yeah. That's been my experience, too. Sorry you ran into it here, of all places.

[bywolves]

[ That's the worst part. Royce genuinely does like Monty - he's been a little infatuated with him for well over a year, but this is the sort of thing he doesn't know how to handle. ]

It's fine. I'm fine. It just confirmed something I already knew.

[termineur]

...which is?

[bywolves]

[ He purses his lips, because Alfie scolded him for this, but. ]

It's stupid to let feelings get in the way of sense. Some - childish infatuation led me to believe that I could be open, and I was punished accordingly. I won't make that mistake again.

[termineur]

[ Gabriel's silent for a long moment, then lets out a sigh. ]

Yeah.

I'd feel the same way if I had that thrown back in my face, honestly. Makes me wonder how lucky I am that it hasn't happened, so far. Not here, anyway.

[ Back home was a completely different story. But this is making him rethink some things. ]

[bywolves]

[ He absently rubs at his chest, right below his sternum. It's getting to be a familiar movement for him, these days. ]

I don't want you to talk to Monty. I know you know that it's him who said it. I don't want him to think I've - tattled on him.